What better way to end the Mental health awareness month, than a promise and a pledge to myself.
A promise I intend to honor and a pledge I vow to keep.
I was asked my opinion on self harm once, why do people do it? Why do people get addicted and does it ever stop? Self harm, is an addiction, because pain is addictive. Why do people do it? In my opinion, it’s the pain you can control and one you can see. It’s a method to cope, a very terrible one. Is it addictive? Yes, it is. Very much so. It usually starts as an impulse, a small jolt to keep one in check, for some, to remind them that they still feel, that they still are alive, an impulsive decision at a moment of weakness. Slowly, one depends on it, as a distraction from any emotional pain, physical pain heals faster, but emotional ones fester and poison, if not treated. Then it becomes an addiction, an obsession, a false sense of control.
It sickens me to the depth of my heart to see Media romanticizing it, making it feel cool or Writers making it feel almost as normal as breathing. It is not. Believe me, self harm brings in guilt and shame, and having to keep it a secret is worse. The relief is short-lived, before you have to deal with whatever is troubling you. Instead of solving any problem, you just let it be bottled up inside, hiding it in the closet and sweeping every problem under the rug. It only takes sometime before it bursts, opens and blows up in your face.
For someone affected, they do not wish for that upon anybody. The guilt of asking your loved one to stop an addiction, you know the harm of it all to well. The hopelessness when something goes wrong, and it’s not in your hands anymore. The despair, when you see someone you love go down the path, you struggle to leave. It’s not worth it.
It’s not the way to do it, get help and confide in someone, it gets better. Life does get better. Asking for help is hard, I know, trust me. Leaning on someone, letting one take care of you for once, or letting someone in. It’s opening the doors to you chamber of secrets, everything dark and ugly, sometimes and expecting them to love you the same and see you the same. Trust, giving someone the power to hurt you but believing in them to not to.
Talk to someone you trust, let them in and believe in yourself.
Even in the dark
When there seems to be no light
And the weight of the world
Burdens your shoulders
And a little voice
Says you can never do it
Exclaim with power and conviction
“I can and I will
For with every sunset, ends a bad day
But every sunrise, begins a new day”
You can and you will
Life does get better
Trust and believe in yourself
Just like I do in you
I may not know you
But I understand the struggle you go through
I may not know your full battle,
Or see all your wounds
But in the end
I am human like you too
Tell me so I can help
Speak out and I shall listen
Beyond what the eye sees
Is a soul I am in love with
For all the scars and struggles
A beautiful soul
That I can’t help but be in awe of
Life does get better.
This promise to myself, is that I shall try my very best to not succumb to the little whisper.
I am stronger than that, braver than that and wiser.
I promise not to judge by the scars on somebody’s arms, not by the burns on your feet, not by the wounds on your fists, or the bandage on your head. Not by anything at all, I promise I will try to listen, to look at you and love you, maybe even love you more.
Often, we ignore others’ cries for help because we are too blinded by our own struggles. We often lose so many to fend on their own, we let too many people down, we failed so many people, but now is a good place to start. Right here and right now, pledge to be a source of comfort and solace, to lend an ear and to see beyond the walls and masks, to see for who they really are and still love the same.
And for those still struggling, life gets better.