๐Ÿ’”

Drifting away into numbness

Hear my cry

Heed my plea

Save me

Before it’s too late

I weep for the girl that was

Smiling and ever happy

I wish not to be stuck

Smiling in pain

Let my tears flow

Before they turn red

Hear my cry

Heed my plea

Drowning

Clutching to all straws

Fading away

Into an emotionless pit

Listen to my heart

Forget my words

I’ll say I’m fine

When I’m anything but

Hold me tight

Help me fight

My demons taking the best of me

Hear my cry

Heed my plea

I’m lost

I’m wandering

Like a ghost

Haunting nothing but myself

Nightmares merging in to my reality

Hear my cry

Heed my plea

Aid me before it’s too late

Slowly losing my mind

Slowly losing my smile

Slowly losing myself

Overwhelmed

Too much to feel

Too loud voices

Too fast

Too many thoughts

I can’t

Not anymore

I want to give up all I know

Just to get some peace

Some quiet

Some calm

So I can rest

Finally at peace

Yet beyond the darkness

I see no light

For the life I have been living

Does not earn me the peace

I deserve not the mercy

I do not despair

I just realize

Before my time comes

I want to be at peace

With My Creator

With my soul

With my heart

With my companions

So I can leave

Without feeling guilty

Without feeling sad

Without this noose tightening around my neck

Without this weight crashing in my chest

I lost the only light I ever knew

The purity of bowing to My Lord

The calm when I prostrate

The light in my heart when I end my prayer

The pause in this fast life once I start

And yet I wondered why everything is crashing around me

When I disregarded my shield

When I nearly threw away my peace

And helpless as I am

Will I be strong enough to find it again?

If I find the rope of my Lord once more

Will I have the courage to hold on?

Once I get on the path to my Lord

Will I be brave enough to steer on?

I fail.

I fail

I fail

But still there is time

Till the last breathe leaves my body

Till the sun rises from the West

I turn back to my Lord

In repentance

Asking for Mercy

Begging for forgiveness

I promise with all that is in me

To hold on for dear life

Try my best to never let go

Mercy, my Lord, Mercy

Give me strength to never go astray from Your path

Give me light to illuminate my way

Give my soul steadfastness to remain firm in faith

I humbly return to you My Lord

Take my soul, only when you are pleased with me

Give me a life that is blessed and fulfilling

Remove this emptiness from my heart

And fill it with Your Love

My Lord!

I pray for Your Love.

I pray for Your Mercy

I pray for Your repentance.

Show me mercy Your Lord.

Weeping Heart

I feel my chest heavy

My eyes watery

I know you

Sadly, I knew you

A kind smile

Joyful eyes

A kind heart

A beautiful soul

Yet, I still can’t see you

I tried picturing your face

Yet it still evades me

Maybe this is my punishment

For forgetting you

I never should have stopped

Looking for you

I should have called

I should have texted more

My weeping heart bleeds

I wish I did more

Now you’ve left us

With your beautiful soul

I pray that you’re in the highest Jannah

I still will look for you

And I’ll remember you

When I open my Holy Qur’aan

When I hear a new hadeeth

When I try reading Tafseer

When I bow my head in prayer

I may not remember your face

But your memories are in my heart

I pray that your soul finds peace

I pray for patience for your family

I pray for strength

And I pray I see your face again

Maybe my weeping heart will not hurt as much

Dear Sister, I love you.

ุงู„ู„ู‡ู… ุงุบูุฑ ู„ู‡ุง ูˆุงุฑุญู…ู‡ุง ูˆุงุณูƒู†ู‡ุง ูุณูŠุญ ุฌู†ุงุชู‡

ุงู„ู„ู‡ู… ุงุบูุฑ ู„ู‡ุง ูˆุงุฑุญู…ู‡ุง ูˆุนุงูู‡ุง ูˆุงุนู ุนู†ู‡ุง ูˆูˆุณุน ู…ุฏุฎู„ู‡ุง ูˆุงูƒุฑู… ู†ุฒู„ู‡ุง ูˆูˆุณุน ู…ุฏุฎู„ู‡ุง

(O Allah, forgive her, and have mercy on her

O Allah, forgive her, and have mercy on her, and heal her, and heal her, and widen her entrance, and honor her inn, and widen her entrance)

May Allah bring peace and strength to all those who’ve lost loved ones in their lives. ๐Ÿ’š

Why Watamu is Wonderful

The Island Guru

Defined by itโ€™s natural, calm and peaceful nature Watamu is a small coastal village located on the Northern Coast a few kilometres before Malindi Town. Watamu has managed to maintain itโ€™s nature and remains one of Coastโ€™s undeveloped areas. Habitat for an impeccable marine and coral life, Watamu Marine National Park and Reserve has been named one of the best in Africa. Watamu should be your next stop for a worthwhile holiday and I will tell you why.

A place rich in culture with a touch of history, Watamu is home for a unique Swahili experience. The people of Watamu are very welcoming and sometimes they get too nice and accommodating it could bug you. It is important to note that the culture has also been influenced by a few Italians who have managed to settle in this village. If you love food then this place would be perfect forโ€ฆ

View original post 250 more words

HELPLESS

The worst feeling ever

One I never felt so deeply

Wishing I could do everything

Unable to do anything at all

Helpless.

Utterly and totally helpless.

Rationally, I know

There is no thing I could do

To change what happened

Yet here I am

Helpless

I wonder if this comes with the job

Having to remain closed off

Having to not feel

Knowing that others I’ll be able to help

While others I just have to watch them slip away

Knowing it was above me

And I know that what’s written will always happen

The course had been set

The timing was up

Yet I still feel

So helpless

I pray to Allah to ease this feeling

I know it was His will

And I know it was meant to happen

And slowly I’ll come to accept it

But this feeling I wish to never feel

So utterly helplessly helpless

DO IT ONCE MORE

Dust up, wipe away your tears and do it once more.

I’ve healed myself, more than once, with prayers and determination
Bowing my head and crying to My Lord
I’ve stitched myself up.
And I’ll do it once more.
And again.
And again.

I’ve faced so much worse than a broken heart
Clipped wings and a shattered dream
But I got up once
And I’ll do it once more.
And again.
And again.

I’ve faced bigger demons
Than self doubt
Hurtful comments and a low esteem
I rose up once
And I’ll do it once more.
And again.
And again.

I’ve lived through worse nightmares
Human monsters and two faced snakes
I’ve slayed them once
And I’ll do it once more.
And again.
And again.

I’ll never give up, even in the face of fear
Doubt and hurt
I faced them once
And I’ll do it once more.
And again.
And again.

cursed

Cursed one

‘Ulolaaniwa’

He never wanted me

Never will

A father is her daughter’s King

Mine is my nightmare

A father is to hold you

Mine is to hit me

A father is to love you

Mine loathes me

A father is to protect you

I need protection from him

A father is the light in his daughter’s eyes

Mine snatched all the light away

A girl is blessed to have her father alive

Mine is cursed to have me alive

I was taught

From when I could understand

Stay out of his way

He’ll kick me if I don’t

Stay out of his sight

What new curse could he come up with today?

Let him not hear you

You don’t want to be hit

I wonder why

He could never love me

I’ve tried my best

1st in all my classes

Until he made me drop out

Wasting his money

Only to be married

An excellent cook

Until he burnt me ‘accidentally’

A voice like a bird

Until he had me caged

Silent

Silent tears

As I cradled my broken arm

No hospitals

So it never healed right

A painful reminder

Each and every day

That I am cursed

Cursed to be born

Cursed to be his daughter

Cursed to be a girl

Simply cursed for who I am.

blind

Love blinds

So people say

Well, it never did me

I just chose to ignore

Ignored when he raised his voice

Ignored when he broke the TV

Ignored when he threw words around

Ignored, but felt it each time

Then he first raised his hand

I ignored

He left

I cried myself to sleep

I chose to be blind

I held it in

Chose to ignore

For my little 2 year old boy

I chose to be blind

Until I couldn’t anymore

Then I tried leaving

But I couldn’t

Mama said

What would people say?

Baba said

Think of your son

Auntie said

I probably deserved it

Society said

A woman should persevere

And everyone saw

The bruised arms

The black eyes

But everyone chose to ignore

They all become blind

He is my husband

I love him

I should persevere

Maybe, I did deserve it

I’ll hold my tongue

Never ask where he is

Never argue

Never raise my voice again

Blind to his faults

Then came my little girl

One look at her

And I knew

I wouldn’t let her live like I do

I’ll show her what love is supposed to be

Not a broken heart

A twisted arm

Or a bruised eye

Her Mama will make her proud

And I left

For my walking son

He shouldn’t be like

The monster he calls father

Love is not this.

I choose not to be blind anymore

Society be damned

I am no more blind

This time I choose to be deaf

Let them talk

hurt

First time she did it

We both were shocked

I was hurt

Bleeding

And not just from the cut

The one she placed

Right above my eye

8 stitches

But the pain

Was not as much as

The one in my heart

I was hurt

She said sorry

She was angry

It’ll never happen again

She held me as we both cried

And I believed her

And it happened again

A screaming match

Followed by a thrown vase

Then a cut again

This time my arm

And again

A blow to my head

She took me to the ER

Laughed off with the nurse

Men and their competitive nature

Got beaten up trashtalking

Said his team was better

I couldn’t say a word

Disoriented

Confused

Hurt

And again

And again

Every time she’s angry

Every time she’s upset

Elaborate lies

Made up stories

Who do I tell

Who do I confide in

That the one I love

Hurts me the most

A WordPress.com Website.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: