I FEEL

I did a survey, one day ago. A post I saw on Twitter.

‘I need help’ and ‘I love you’ were the most replies. ‘I’m hurting’ came really close too and ‘I apologize’ had the least.

But it all comes down to our feelings I guess.

We hide our true feelings behind masks and now behind the screens of our devices.

I guess what we fear the most is the reply to whatever we say.

We fear the scrutiny that society and now social media that comes with admitting what we feel.

I feel.

I am human so I feel.

I personally, might be among the people who hardly admit when they need help.

I’d rather get lost and wander in a new town for hours for what was meant to be a 10 minute errand. (Trust me it happened)

I’d rather retreat in my shell and put a cap on anything negative that I feel than talking about it.

I’d rather drag myself to the hospital alone than worry anybody when I’m sick.

I realize it’s wrong.

We have friends and family for this reason and many more.

When we’re down, talk to somebody.

When you love, admit it

When you hurt, seek help

When we wrong, ask for forgiveness.

When we’re lost, ask for directions

We are not lonely islands drifting in the sea

Nor are we lone cacti in the desert

We are humans and so we feel

And others have felt what we feel

They can help

I realize admitting one’s feelings on something may go wrong

But what if goes right?

What if it does work out?

What if it all falls into place?

From today onwards, I look forward to saying what I feel in hopes it helps one admit theirs.

Love, care and kindness are too precious for one to just hold on to alone. Spread the feelings.

You are not a pre-programmed robot trained to eat, work, sleep and wake.

Love in the moment with joy and happiness.

Trust in a Higher Power looking after you and paving the way for you.

I feel relieved as I type this out.

I love you. ❤

DO IT ONCE MORE

Dust up, wipe away your tears and do it once more.

I’ve healed myself, more than once, with prayers and determination
Bowing my head and crying to My Lord
I’ve stitched myself up.
And I’ll do it once more.
And again.
And again.

I’ve faced so much worse than a broken heart
Clipped wings and a shattered dream
But I got up once
And I’ll do it once more.
And again.
And again.

I’ve faced bigger demons
Than self doubt
Hurtful comments and a low esteem
I rose up once
And I’ll do it once more.
And again.
And again.

I’ve lived through worse nightmares
Human monsters and two faced snakes
I’ve slayed them once
And I’ll do it once more.
And again.
And again.

I’ll never give up, even in the face of fear
Doubt and hurt
I faced them once
And I’ll do it once more.
And again.
And again.

Judge Me After

I’d paint what I feel

I fear it would be too dark

I’d say what I want to say

I fear I might be misunderstood

I stand here before you

Speak what I want to say

Get over what I can’t

Explain it so I also can get it

Stop the judgement

I’m asking for the impossible,

Believe me I know.

You’ve not lived my life

Never understood what I feel

Never walked with me

All you see is what you want to see

So till you can do what I ask you to

Stop with the judgements.

Put a halt to your negativity.

Shut it when you don’t know the truth.

If your words aren’t worth your silence

Then don’t

You don’t always have to speak.

Put your words on a scale

A few words of yours

Weigh them against my journey

Give me the weight of my life, my heart, my story

Forget that, give me the weight of what you say

Your comments?The basis?

Your opinions? Who asked for them?

Your hateful attitude? What did I do?

You can’t?

See. Then don’t. Just stop.

You have no right to judge.

Advise me when I stray

Kindness doesn’t cost a thing.

If I’m drowning, would you pull me out?

If I was falling, would you help me up? If not, soften my fall?

If I was going under, would you help me stay afloat?

If I ever lost my faith, would you show me how to believe once again?

If you won’t stay for it,

Through the tides and turbulence

Ride the high. Camp with the low.

Stay. Stay. Stay.

Then leave.

Leave with the negativity you carry.

I’d be lying if I said it won’t hurt

I’d be lying if I said it will be easy.

It’ll hurt definitely

It’ll be hard for sure

But

Sadness doesn’t last forever, it shouldn’t

Grief can be overcame,slowly but steadily

Mistakes can be pardoned, forgiven not forgotten

Difficulty can be lessened, for with each of it comes ease

I’m not brand new, definitely not

But I’m stronger

I’m scratched up, messed up and a little bit scared too

But I’m still fighting to survive

I’m not alone, not if I don’t want to

Letting you all in, trusting

I will stay hoping, praying, wishing and hoping some more.

Taking a plunge, I’m flying, lighter.

I’m grounded, staying true to myself.

After this all, judge me then.

Happy Birthday To Me

Dear 20 year old self,

I wish you a life full of happiness

May blessings come your way

May you succeed in all beneficial endeavours you undertake

May you bring life and joy in each turn you take

May your life be long, full of bliss and smiles

May it be wonderful, each day let yourself shine

Dear Self,

May your heart be pure from evil

Your tongue cleansed from lies

Your company rid of negativity

Your soul protected from sadness

Dearest,

As you grow older, may you grow happier

As you take on life, may you grow wiser

As you live life, may you be livelier

My prayer for you, my self.

I advise you as I write this, be courteous and polite

Humble and kind

Smart and wise

Follow your dreams, never give up.

Follow your heart, when it directs you to your Lord

Be proud, not arrogant

Be confident, don’t overdo it

Be courageous, not foolish

Be brave, Behave.

Let your principles guide you,

Let your Book show you the way.

Let your modesty be your shield

Take on the world, a smile at a time.

You are beautiful, one of a kind,

Let no one dull your shine.

Dear Self, Happy Birthday to You!

Of Friends And Family

Friendship bracelets

I still have mine

We made it back in 3rd grade

It’s old and worn

But always warms my heart

Our own secret code

Tougher than the Rivest’s

Hidden gestures 

Covert looks

I still remember them all
Complicated handshakes

Made up games

Uno cards, deck by deck

And Monopoly debts

I think you still owe me a rematch

Guava trees 

Red cherry bombs

Firecrackers and bike rides

Pranks on the next door hostel

And water balloons still hidden
Memories I hold dear

We may be apart today

But we’ll always be in the past together

Playing football while the sun sets

Or manning the wicket, while one swings by.

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