My Wonder Lady

As a mother, she has paradise underneath her feet

As a daughter, she gives honour and paradise to her parents

As a woman, her stature has been raised by the One above

She’s a wonder lady

Like an octopus, she balances eight things at a time

She’s courageous, taking on the world

Her armour is her modesty

Her weapon is her honour

She faces every day with bravery

Her heart is pure

Her soul is gold

Take her through fire

I’ll promise you, she comes out a diamond

She’s my inspiration

She’s my beautiful being.

Muslimah, raise your head

You need no validation from any being

For your status has always been high.

Her rights, have always been clear

Respect her

Educate her

Honour her

Cherish her

Love her

Then watch her flourish.

To My Mother

To the one who conceived me

Carried me

Then had me

The one I troubled the most

Nurtured me and held me

Loved me and nourished me

In whose arms lies my comfort

To the one I love unconditionally

Who taught me right from wrong

Showed me the way

Held my hand as I walked

Encouraged me as I talked

Believed in me

When I lost that in myself

Supported me

Helped me up as I fell

To the one I’ll always go back to

This is my prayer for you

May Allah bless you

For each time you hold me

May Allah forgive you

For every tear you shed for me

May Allah keep you safe

For all the times you worry about me

May Allah make you among the women of paradise

May Allah raise your status in this life and the hereafter

Ya Rabb.

This woman I love

Protect her

Love her

Bless her

Look after her.

The one I call Mama

Ya Rabb

Give me the ability

To make her smile when she’s sad

To make her proud, here and forever

To make her happy, wherever she is.

Ya Rabb,

For the one I call mother

Is the one in my heart.

To Poetry

To the poets

Who choose to say

What they feel

When the sun goes down

And they are left alone

To battle their fears

To face their demons

And choose to share

To lend a hand

To those still stuck in battle.

Thank you.

To Poetry.

For giving me a chance

To say what I want

How I want

For allowing me

To express

In order to inspire

Before I expire

Thank you.

To those who read

Understand

See the effort in each word

Feel the emotions between each line

For trying to understand

A poet’s mind

And people of their kind

Thank you.

To you

Reading this

To support a friend

To understand her plight

Maybe help in her fight

As she battles her mind

Thank you.

TILL I LOVE ME

Shallow standards of beauty are what I grew up seeing.

Perfect height, weight and assets to complement.

So anything other than that was not beautiful.

It simply could not be beautiful.

I always wondered about it.

For I see beauty in a smile,

Beauty in tears,

Beauty in pain

And beauty in a storm.

I am astonished by strength,

Intrigued by bravery

And inspired by courage.

I see beauty in a stroke of a painter’s brush,

In a paragraph of a writer’s book,

And in the words of a poet.

I see beauty in almost everything I encounter.

What I did not see, was beauty in me.

I fell in love with the passionate souls that choose to believe in their ability to create art.

I wonder what would someone find beautiful?

Plain brown eyes. Dull skin and messy hair?

I look at the mirror every day and wonder how anyone would think that I was beautiful.

Not only in my appearance, but for who I am too.

Would someone like me when I ramble on?

Would anyone see beauty in what i write?

Would anyone see the pain in my words and choose to stay?

Is there beauty in who I am?

I wish I had an answer. I don’t.

And even if somebody said yes, I probably would not believe it.

Not right now.

Not until I believe in myself.

Until I love me.

I am learning, to love myself for everything I am and what I do.

For my weird habits and silly rambles.

For who I am.

And also, for how I look.

Until I love me. I shall continue searching for these answers.

Or maybe once I know. I wouldn’t need any answers.

When I find one thing I like,

I’d find a thousand more to hate

Little things to always pick on.

For I will know the truth.

Until I forgive myself

For all that I have done

For all the mistakes I wronged myself

For the pain I put myself through.

Maybe then I’d learn to forgive others too.

I do not see this at all.

I justify all the wrongs I have faced with what I see in the mirror.

I look at the reflection and I don’t see someone who deserves to be happy.

I see broken pieces

I see shards

I see secrets

I see lies and sins

How can someone live with a person like this?

Till then, when I learn to love me all

All the broken pieces and cracks

Then, I wait for.

I do sometimes,

Like the happiness behind a smile

When I smile and my reflection smiles back.

For then I know, I can still be happy.

The nights I fear most,

Is those I feel nothing

Never ending numbness

No hate

No love

No pain

No hurt

Those I fear.

When I force myself to feel.

Worry not,

I have not despaired

For the Believers, there is no despair

I hope the day comes soon

When I love picking up a pen and writing again

When I feel the warmth of a loving gaze

When I smile from my heart

And let it show on my face

When I can say

With assuringly

And truly

I love me

For my self

For my being

For who I am

For what I do

For what I’ve been through

And for all that I’m about to be.

Till I love me

I Cry

I cry for my distressed soul.

I cry not knowing when I shall depart .

I cry not knowing what state I shall leave in.

I cry for myself and for you too.

I cry.

I cry out for mercy.

I cry out for forgiveness.

I cry for how quickly I forget my tears.

I cry for I know I’m not ready to meet My Lord .

I cry, Ya Rabb! I cry out for you.

I cry out My Lord forgive my ignorant soul.

I cry, Ya Rabb, have mercy on my ungrateful self.

I cry out, for in the dark of the night I remember all my wrongs.

I cry out, Ya Rabb, take me only when you are pleased with me.

I cry out Ya Rahman, for the ones I have wronged.

I cry out Ya Saater, protect me, conceal my faults.

I cry out for you Allah.

I cry out for your love and compassion.

I cry out for my people in Syria, Yemen and Palestine.

I cry out for relief for my family in Somalia and Burma.

I cry out most though, for those that have all, yet still don’t have You.

I cry out, I’m on my knees Ya Ilaah!

I cry out for my family, guide them ya Rabb.

I cry out for my siblings, Show them the right path.

I cry out for my Parents, Ya Rabb show them mercy for they showed me mercy.

I cry out for you my Lord, forgive me, have mercy on me and give me strength to persevere.

Heading Home

I’ve felt it, the lowest point.

Felt like I couldn’t breathe,

My chest hurt,

My heart was shredding into pieces,

And it was too quiet,

Enough to hear each shatter.

I kept to myself,

Detached everyone else,

Too safe, too lonely,

Too alone, too cold.

So scared to reach out,

So scared to be found out.

I felt everything at once,

Then felt nothing at all.

Despair, hopelessness, fear

Anger, Fear, Hate.

I COULDN’T BREATHE.

Then I did, felt nothing at all.

I pressed hard, hit hard.

Let me feel something.

If not, bring the pain.

Let it crush me.

Let it hold me.

Let it pain me.

Enough to let me know I was alive

I was breathing. I was alive.

Still I was restless. Hopeless.

My mind wouldn’t shut up.

My heart won’t settle.

I cried. And I cried some more.

Held my head, as I let my tears flow.

Oh God, did I wish to let go.

To go and let it all go.

Everything and nothing at all.

I felt it all, then nothing at all.

I heard it, play again and again

Every comment

Every word

Every joke

Every laugh

Every blow

Every mark

Again and again

Then again and again.

I wished I could tear it all apart.

Every feature.

Every mark.

I’d have done it.

If I didn’t pause to think.

Why? What wouldit solve?

Today, it’s me.

Tomorrow, it would be somebody else

Not now.

Not today.

Return home.

Head back.

You’ve forgotten the way, it’s not too late

As long as you still breathe

Head His Way

Return to Your Lord, O despaired soul

So I cried again,

Bowed my head, Then cried some more

Lord, Forgive me.

Have mercy on my soul.

Lord of the Heavens

Lord if the Earth

And everything in between

Have Mercy on my soul.

To be human is to forget

I forgot my way again

Lost in the Earthly hollowness

Dived in the Worldy shallowness

I forgot, the way to My Lord

Indulged my self in everything the world offered

Until I wasn’t satisfied anymore

I realized it again

So I cried, hit my chest,

And cried some more

Return me to You

Ya Rabb

Forgive me and have mercy on my soul

I’m lost

So guide me Home

Where my heart shall be in peace

My mind shall be settled

My tongue shall sing Your Praises

Guide me to the correct path

Protect me from all evils

When I stumble and fall,

Ya Allah, give me strength to stand back up

When I lose,

Ya Kareem, give me patience to try again.

When I am afflicted,

Ya Ghaffaar, have mercy on my soul.

I’m heading home.

8436 Miles Away

I miss you, with every breathe I take

Every step I make,

I miss you, for every mile away.

 

My safe haven, My warm cocoon.

My home, my comfy blanket.

I miss you, for every mile away.

 

My heart’s beloved, My soul’s comfort

My listening ear, my crying shoulder

I miss you, for every mile away.

 

Mama and Baba, My Brothers, My sisters,

My heart calls out to you.

I miss you, so very much, for every mile away.

 

 

 

 

 

TIME

I speak of it

As if I know it,

As if I’ve mastered it,

Yet, I know nothing

I wonder of it

A mystery, shrouded in mystery

How much of it is left anyway?

How long has it been in existence

How long does it have left

What about the earth? I ask

I miss it sometimes,

It goes too fast

At times, too slow

Time, Use it wisely

I was always told

Use it before it runs out

Use it well

Use it before you can’t anymore

Time, Dearest Time,

Would you slow down if I asked,

Speed up when I desire

Slave to The One alone,

Time, a shield and a witness

Or an argument against man

It’s only now that I’ve got

This moment, and this alone

I leave you with this,

Use your time well

Use it wisely

Use your youth before you age

Use your health before you sicken

Use your wealth before poverty

Use your free time before you are tied up

And lastly,

Use your life before death.

Painfully Human Part 2

So someone asked me to clarify on  PAINFULLY HUMAN.

This is my own personal opinion in life, I do believe humans in some kind of twisted way crave pain to make us feel more alive, to let loose from the numbness that plagues us, to feel.

I am entitled to my opinion as you are to yours, I do not wish to impose mine over yours, this is simply my little haven where I speak (or type) what I feel.

So to clarify on this, I think pain, in some way, reminds us we are human, we soar to great heights, sometimes think of ourselves greater than who we are, and only when we experience pain is when we remember we are human, painfully human.

Pain reminds us of our identities as humble beings, reminds us that we are not indestructible we are not infinite, we are flawed in the greatest way possible.

In another way, we crave pain, I said this, it may be a little masochistic of us, we kind of do crave pain. We aren’t damaged or scarred, we simply are humans.

We aren’t damaged or scarred, we simply are humans.

Pain, is a reminder that we feel, it’s a reminder that we are alive, it’s a reminder that we need to be humble.

I don’t necessarily think that anyone or everyone would agree with me, but as I said, this is my opinion.

Pain, comes in so many different forms, we inflict it upon ourselves, it’s inflicted by those close to us, by strangers, emotional, physiological, psychological, it exists everywhere, sometimes we inflict it unknowingly with words or actions that can never be taken back, a reason we should always think before we speak or act.

It’s a shame that with all knowledge we are amassing we still don’t fully recognize mental health, in my opinion, should be among the most important health routines.

Dentists, ENTs, General Doctors, Cardiologists, Gyno/Obstetrician, Ophthalmologists, we dish out hundreds and thousands to go through these check-ups, why not the same for mental health? How is it related to pain? The mind is what perceives pain, in whatever form it is, that’s why I think we should recognize and treat whatever pain we have in our lives, Physiological? Get treated for it. Emotional? Talk to someone. Psychological? See someone qualified.

We suffer through so much alone when we don’t have to. We just have to reach out and trust that somebody will hear the plea of help. We need to trust that when we put our hands across someone will grasp, and hopefully not let go. But first, we need to agree that we are indeed suffering, we need to decide that we will get help, we need to prepare to let someone in, we need to trust to feel. 

I don’t know how much sense I’m making, but without our conscious effort to need to get better, we shall always wonder what if? and wandering in a black wormhole, trapped your own selves.

I know I said it in I Choose Happiness, we are our battles, we are our demons, our worst nightmares and we also are our own selves, but I’ll say it again, we are nobody else’s but ourselves. And when we decide to fight for our own selves for our happiness, we are meeting a formidable foe, for no one knows you better than yourself.

Never inflict pain upon yourself, emotional, physiological or psychological, intentionally because as Winnie The Pooh says, “You’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think” and loved more than you know. Winnie is always right, you know? Seriously, you are. If you managed to make it this far, it can be 14 years, 15, 16, 17, 18 19, 20, 40, 45 years, less or more, doesn’t matter you are.

Pain is twisted, but it makes us who we are, makes our story and shapes our future because we are all painfully human.

 

 

 

A WordPress.com Website.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: