Slowly losing my mind

Slowly losing my smile

Slowly losing myself

Overwhelmed

Too much to feel

Too loud voices

Too fast

Too many thoughts

I can’t

Not anymore

I want to give up all I know

Just to get some peace

Some quiet

Some calm

So I can rest

Finally at peace

Yet beyond the darkness

I see no light

For the life I have been living

Does not earn me the peace

I deserve not the mercy

I do not despair

I just realize

Before my time comes

I want to be at peace

With My Creator

With my soul

With my heart

With my companions

So I can leave

Without feeling guilty

Without feeling sad

Without this noose tightening around my neck

Without this weight crashing in my chest

I lost the only light I ever knew

The purity of bowing to My Lord

The calm when I prostrate

The light in my heart when I end my prayer

The pause in this fast life once I start

And yet I wondered why everything is crashing around me

When I disregarded my shield

When I nearly threw away my peace

And helpless as I am

Will I be strong enough to find it again?

If I find the rope of my Lord once more

Will I have the courage to hold on?

Once I get on the path to my Lord

Will I be brave enough to steer on?

I fail.

I fail

I fail

But still there is time

Till the last breathe leaves my body

Till the sun rises from the West

I turn back to my Lord

In repentance

Asking for Mercy

Begging for forgiveness

I promise with all that is in me

To hold on for dear life

Try my best to never let go

Mercy, my Lord, Mercy

Give me strength to never go astray from Your path

Give me light to illuminate my way

Give my soul steadfastness to remain firm in faith

I humbly return to you My Lord

Take my soul, only when you are pleased with me

Give me a life that is blessed and fulfilling

Remove this emptiness from my heart

And fill it with Your Love

My Lord!

I pray for Your Love.

I pray for Your Mercy

I pray for Your repentance.

Show me mercy Your Lord.

Weeping Heart

I feel my chest heavy

My eyes watery

I know you

Sadly, I knew you

A kind smile

Joyful eyes

A kind heart

A beautiful soul

Yet, I still can’t see you

I tried picturing your face

Yet it still evades me

Maybe this is my punishment

For forgetting you

I never should have stopped

Looking for you

I should have called

I should have texted more

My weeping heart bleeds

I wish I did more

Now you’ve left us

With your beautiful soul

I pray that you’re in the highest Jannah

I still will look for you

And I’ll remember you

When I open my Holy Qur’aan

When I hear a new hadeeth

When I try reading Tafseer

When I bow my head in prayer

I may not remember your face

But your memories are in my heart

I pray that your soul finds peace

I pray for patience for your family

I pray for strength

And I pray I see your face again

Maybe my weeping heart will not hurt as much

Dear Sister, I love you.

اللهم اغفر لها وارحمها واسكنها فسيح جناته

اللهم اغفر لها وارحمها وعافها واعف عنها ووسع مدخلها واكرم نزلها ووسع مدخلها

(O Allah, forgive her, and have mercy on her

O Allah, forgive her, and have mercy on her, and heal her, and heal her, and widen her entrance, and honor her inn, and widen her entrance)

May Allah bring peace and strength to all those who’ve lost loved ones in their lives. 💚

Ramadhaan ; The Month of Mercy and Forgiveness

Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakaatuhu,

 

The most awaited month in the Muslim Calendar is finally here: Ramadhaan!

My prayer for us all is that may Allah guide us to the correct path and may He shower us with mercy and blessings in this blessed month.

In the past, I was unfortunately among those who silently judged those who improved themselves in Ramadhaan, the famous saying “When Barbies become Hijabis and Playboys become Pray boys” was drilled into me by those around me that I closed my thinking and sat myself on a pedestal. It didn’t take me long to understand that my thinking was wrong, what people were doing was wrong, what I was doing was not taught to us by the Prophet.

I was being judgmental, thinking myself better because I wore my hijaab at all times, I prayed and I did this and that. I acted as if Jannah was already mine. May Allah forgive me for my past misgivings and my sins. How sure am I that Allah has even accepted my past deeds? I am even in doubt that they were sincere.

But here comes a blessing in a blessing in a blessing, the Holy month of Ramadhan; where I am given a chance at a clean slate with my Lord.

Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: When Ramadan enters, the gates of Paradise are opened, the gates of Hellfire are closed and the devils are chained. (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

Here is a chance for all of us to redeem ourselves and humble ourselves before the Lord of All mankind.

The Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) climbed upon the Minbar (pulpit) and said, ‘Ameen, Ameen, Ameen.’ It was said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, why did you say Ameen?’ He (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said, ‘Jibreel came to me and said, ‘O Muhammad, he is doomed who hears your mention and does not say, Peace be upon you. (in the Hadeeth of Musnad Ahmad – then Allah may distance him)’ He said, ‘Say, Ameen.’ So, I said, ‘Ameen’. Then he said, ‘He is doomed who sees the month of Ramadaan come and go, and he has not been forgiven. (in the Hadeeth of Musnad Ahmad – and so he enters Hell Fire, then Allah may distance him)’ He said, ‘Say, ‘Ameen.’ So, I said, ‘Ameen’. Then he said, ‘He is doomed, who grows up and both his parents, or one of them is still alive, and they do not cause him to enter Paradise (in the Hadeeth of Musnad Ahmad – then Allah may distance him)’ He said, ‘Say, Ameen.’ So, I said, ‘Ameen.”

 

I pray that Allah gives us the strength to use this chance so that we don’t be those who are in a loss.

Abu Hurayrah reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said,

Whoever observes fasts during the month of Ramadan out of sincere faith, and hoping to attain Allah’s rewards, then all his past sins will be forgiven. (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

For those among us, finding themselves in Ramadhaan, may Allah give us the strength to practice Islam everyday, even when practicing becomes like holding hot coal, may He give us the courage to hold on, even when holding on to our religion becomes strange and may He accept our fasts and our prayers.

For those who choose to sit on a pedestal, point fingers and judge: Jannah is by Allah’s Will and He alone has the right for admission to it. For all of us, Children of Nabii Adam, is, to do our best and strive hard to achieve it. Worry about your deeds, are they sincere? Worry about your salah, is it perfected? Are your intentions pure? Forget judging others and for once, if you were to be judged, do you think Jannah is guaranteed for you? Do not be haste to point fingers.

Advise in a good and wise way. Be kind in your approach, be sincere and be mindful of your words. Do not be the reason someone turned away from religion.

We should not lose hope in the mercy of Allah.

Allah says: “Say: O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah: for Allah forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” [Sûrah al-Zumar: 53]

Allah forgives all sins.

Allah says: “Unless he repents, believes, and works righteous deeds, for Allah will change the evil of such persons into good, and Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful,” [Sûrah al-Furqân: 70]

 

 

I pray that we sincerely take this chance to repent and plead with Allah to forgive us, for as long as we are alive and the sun rises in the East, the doors of Repentance are open.

 

 

 

I dedicate this piece to my brother, Abdulkareem, May Allah have mercy on your soul and raise your ranks in paradise.

 

اللهُـمِّ اغْفِـرْ لَهُ وَارْحَمْـه ، وَعافِهِ وَاعْفُ عَنْـه ، وَأَكْـرِمْ نُزُلَـه ، وَوَسِّـعْ مُدْخَـلَه ، وَاغْسِلْـهُ بِالْمـاءِ وَالثَّـلْجِ وَالْبَـرَدْ ، وَنَقِّـهِ مِنَ الْخطـايا كَما نَـقّيْتَ الـثَّوْبُ الأَبْيَـضُ مِنَ الدَّنَـسْ ، وَأَبْـدِلْهُ داراً خَـيْراً مِنْ دارِه ، وَأَهْلاً خَـيْراً مِنْ أَهْلِـه ، وَزَوْجَـاً خَـيْراً مِنْ زَوْجِه، وَأَدْخِـلْهُ الْجَـنَّة ، وَأَعِـذْهُ مِنْ عَذابِ القَـبْر وَعَذابِ النّـار

O Allah, forgive him and have mercy on him and give him strength and pardon him. Be generous to him and cause his entrance to be wide and wash him with water and snow and hail. Cleanse him of his transgressions as white cloth is cleansed of stains. Give him an abode better than his home, and a family better than his family and a wife better than his wife. Take him into Paradise and protect him from the punishment of the grave [and from the punishment of Hell-fire].

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To My Mother

To the one who conceived me

Carried me

Then had me

The one I troubled the most

Nurtured me and held me

Loved me and nourished me

In whose arms lies my comfort

To the one I love unconditionally

Who taught me right from wrong

Showed me the way

Held my hand as I walked

Encouraged me as I talked

Believed in me

When I lost that in myself

Supported me

Helped me up as I fell

To the one I’ll always go back to

This is my prayer for you

May Allah bless you

For each time you hold me

May Allah forgive you

For every tear you shed for me

May Allah keep you safe

For all the times you worry about me

May Allah make you among the women of paradise

May Allah raise your status in this life and the hereafter

Ya Rabb.

This woman I love

Protect her

Love her

Bless her

Look after her.

The one I call Mama

Ya Rabb

Give me the ability

To make her smile when she’s sad

To make her proud, here and forever

To make her happy, wherever she is.

Ya Rabb,

For the one I call mother

Is the one in my heart.

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