cursed

Cursed one

‘Ulolaaniwa’

He never wanted me

Never will

A father is her daughter’s King

Mine is my nightmare

A father is to hold you

Mine is to hit me

A father is to love you

Mine loathes me

A father is to protect you

I need protection from him

A father is the light in his daughter’s eyes

Mine snatched all the light away

A girl is blessed to have her father alive

Mine is cursed to have me alive

I was taught

From when I could understand

Stay out of his way

He’ll kick me if I don’t

Stay out of his sight

What new curse could he come up with today?

Let him not hear you

You don’t want to be hit

I wonder why

He could never love me

I’ve tried my best

1st in all my classes

Until he made me drop out

Wasting his money

Only to be married

An excellent cook

Until he burnt me ‘accidentally’

A voice like a bird

Until he had me caged

Silent

Silent tears

As I cradled my broken arm

No hospitals

So it never healed right

A painful reminder

Each and every day

That I am cursed

Cursed to be born

Cursed to be his daughter

Cursed to be a girl

Simply cursed for who I am.

blind

Love blinds

So people say

Well, it never did me

I just chose to ignore

Ignored when he raised his voice

Ignored when he broke the TV

Ignored when he threw words around

Ignored, but felt it each time

Then he first raised his hand

I ignored

He left

I cried myself to sleep

I chose to be blind

I held it in

Chose to ignore

For my little 2 year old boy

I chose to be blind

Until I couldn’t anymore

Then I tried leaving

But I couldn’t

Mama said

What would people say?

Baba said

Think of your son

Auntie said

I probably deserved it

Society said

A woman should persevere

And everyone saw

The bruised arms

The black eyes

But everyone chose to ignore

They all become blind

He is my husband

I love him

I should persevere

Maybe, I did deserve it

I’ll hold my tongue

Never ask where he is

Never argue

Never raise my voice again

Blind to his faults

Then came my little girl

One look at her

And I knew

I wouldn’t let her live like I do

I’ll show her what love is supposed to be

Not a broken heart

A twisted arm

Or a bruised eye

Her Mama will make her proud

And I left

For my walking son

He shouldn’t be like

The monster he calls father

Love is not this.

I choose not to be blind anymore

Society be damned

I am no more blind

This time I choose to be deaf

Let them talk

hurt

First time she did it

We both were shocked

I was hurt

Bleeding

And not just from the cut

The one she placed

Right above my eye

8 stitches

But the pain

Was not as much as

The one in my heart

I was hurt

She said sorry

She was angry

It’ll never happen again

She held me as we both cried

And I believed her

And it happened again

A screaming match

Followed by a thrown vase

Then a cut again

This time my arm

And again

A blow to my head

She took me to the ER

Laughed off with the nurse

Men and their competitive nature

Got beaten up trashtalking

Said his team was better

I couldn’t say a word

Disoriented

Confused

Hurt

And again

And again

Every time she’s angry

Every time she’s upset

Elaborate lies

Made up stories

Who do I tell

Who do I confide in

That the one I love

Hurts me the most

Yemen, my Heart.

I tremble as I write

My mind fresh with pictures and headlines

Of a country plagued by war

Haunted by famine

Children dropping by the hour

Malnourished and diseased

World’s worst humanitarian crisis

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My heart weeps for my Yemen

3 years of bombs and diseases

And the world watching on

As Yemen falls

I weep for my people

Families forced into eating leaves

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I lack words for what I see

All I know is we have failed Yemen

Yemen, my Heart.

 

https://www.unocha.org/yemen

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Listen Up, NO means NO.

I feel my heart heavy

My feet dragging on

Everywhere I look

I see pain and heartbreak

Girls been raped

Abused then accused

There was consent

They lied

After all, they enjoyed it

And then they were asked

Why didn’t you speak up sooner

Stop changing the narrative

We know what happened

Even when were not there

We know

After being told

To cover up

Wash up

Clean yourself up

Then shut up

It’s done anyway

We’ll raise you higher up

Worry not,

We’ll give you free tuition

To cover up this flawed situation

Come on, we are in a corrupt nation

Seems like we gained naught from our education

That No means No

Say yes, say Yes

Even, when you tried to say no

We’ll prove it was yes, it was yes

Before educating me for free

A price you want to buy me

For my silence, for my screams

I’ll give you a lesson for free

NO MEANS NO

I say NO to your price

I shall not be bought

I say NO to silence

I stand NOT alone

I say NO to rape culture

I only wish I was heard

When I first said NO.

Let’s learn consent

If I was tricked into it, then it’s a NO

If I was drugged, Then it’s a NO

If I said yes, then changed my mind, it’s my choice, and I choose to say NO

If I was held hostage, knife on my throat, Trust me it’s a NO

If I did NOT explicitly, without doubt, force or willingness, say Yes, then it’s a NO

I owe you nothing

No matter who you are

Not my body, Not my choice

It’s mine, My decision to make

And if it’s a NO, It’s a NO

Take a hint, and LET GO, It’s A NO

How many more times

Do I have to repeat myself

I seem to be not passing the message through

But if I will be believed

Then

See you in court

See, I kept an If

Because in this corrupt country

With most high ups deep in bigotry

I doubt that I’ll ever be heard

But for you, listening

Reading this, and understanding

Share my story

So we can stand together

To fight this creature

An ugly monster

In the form of rape culture

#metoo

Broken and Beautiful

You are a wonder

An amazing being

Even beautiful

Doesn’t cover what I see in you

You are strong

You are brave

And may the fire in you

Blaze for eternity

When you were seven

You dealt with so much more

Than many have ever seen

Sexually abused

In the place you felt safest

When you were ten

You wanted to run away from it all

For home was just hell to you

Nobody understood

The fear you held

You couldn’t even meet

Your father’s eyes

Your mother never understood

At thirteen

You wanted to end it all

You couldn’t hold it in anymore

The fear you feel

The nightmares that never end

You started then

Harming your beautiful self

You got broken

Once too many times

The voices in your head

Only got louder with time

Words hurt deeper than wounds

Beautiful Being, you are not alone

You are beautiful, for each crack in your soul

You are beautiful, for each mark on your body

You are beautiful, for all your flaws and more

Beautiful Being,

I am in awe of you.

At twenty

Here you are

Spreading your wings

Attempting to fly

Still in pain, but healing inside

For every single day, I thank God you are alive

I see you chasing your dreams

And I know you’ll be fine

You light up a candle

So bright in my heart

For every trial you’ve been through

I am in awe of that smile

Beautiful being

Your story has just began

Let yourself live

To see better things

Let yourself enjoy

Every morning’s sunrise

Enjoy

The smell of rain

The scent of fresh coffee

The fragrance of a blooming flower

You are yet to travel each country

You are yet to meet your perfect match

You are yet to love once more

With every day comes a new beginning

And I’ll be here

All through the way

Beautiful being

You inspire me every day.

May your story be a legacy

So that they may know

Of this Beautiful being

That was broken down

But rose up again

That was teared down

And stitched her self up

Who was pushed down

And picked herself up

Who thought of ending her life

But lives to see each sunset through

Because of her, I have hope I’ll make it too

Who says proudly

I’M STILL ALIVE

BROKEN AND TORN APART

BUT STILL BREATHING AND ALIVE

Each sunset shows the end of one day

But I promise the sun shall rise again.

Till the end arrives.

Beautiful being.

I love you.

Heading Home

I’ve felt it, the lowest point.

Felt like I couldn’t breathe,

My chest hurt,

My heart was shredding into pieces,

And it was too quiet,

Enough to hear each shatter.

I kept to myself,

Detached everyone else,

Too safe, too lonely,

Too alone, too cold.

So scared to reach out,

So scared to be found out.

I felt everything at once,

Then felt nothing at all.

Despair, hopelessness, fear

Anger, Fear, Hate.

I COULDN’T BREATHE.

Then I did, felt nothing at all.

I pressed hard, hit hard.

Let me feel something.

If not, bring the pain.

Let it crush me.

Let it hold me.

Let it pain me.

Enough to let me know I was alive

I was breathing. I was alive.

Still I was restless. Hopeless.

My mind wouldn’t shut up.

My heart won’t settle.

I cried. And I cried some more.

Held my head, as I let my tears flow.

Oh God, did I wish to let go.

To go and let it all go.

Everything and nothing at all.

I felt it all, then nothing at all.

I heard it, play again and again

Every comment

Every word

Every joke

Every laugh

Every blow

Every mark

Again and again

Then again and again.

I wished I could tear it all apart.

Every feature.

Every mark.

I’d have done it.

If I didn’t pause to think.

Why? What wouldit solve?

Today, it’s me.

Tomorrow, it would be somebody else

Not now.

Not today.

Return home.

Head back.

You’ve forgotten the way, it’s not too late

As long as you still breathe

Head His Way

Return to Your Lord, O despaired soul

So I cried again,

Bowed my head, Then cried some more

Lord, Forgive me.

Have mercy on my soul.

Lord of the Heavens

Lord if the Earth

And everything in between

Have Mercy on my soul.

To be human is to forget

I forgot my way again

Lost in the Earthly hollowness

Dived in the Worldy shallowness

I forgot, the way to My Lord

Indulged my self in everything the world offered

Until I wasn’t satisfied anymore

I realized it again

So I cried, hit my chest,

And cried some more

Return me to You

Ya Rabb

Forgive me and have mercy on my soul

I’m lost

So guide me Home

Where my heart shall be in peace

My mind shall be settled

My tongue shall sing Your Praises

Guide me to the correct path

Protect me from all evils

When I stumble and fall,

Ya Allah, give me strength to stand back up

When I lose,

Ya Kareem, give me patience to try again.

When I am afflicted,

Ya Ghaffaar, have mercy on my soul.

I’m heading home.

DEATH OF HUMANITY

 

 

When an ear aches

An ENT is consulted

When the eye pains

An optometrist is booked

When the heart suffers

A Cardio Doctor consulted

What of a searing pain

In our Humanity?

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What of intense suffering

In our Harmony

Torture and agony?

Why don’t our eyes tear?

Why don’t our hearts bleed?

Why can’t we raise our voices?

Rise against injustice?

Stand up against violence?

Why don’t we feel anymore?

Why oh why?

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Where is our humanity?

Or are we waiting in line?

Till agony reaches our doors?

Are we waiting for it to be

Our children being slaughtered?

Our girls being raped?

Our houses being bombed?

Our country being bombed?

gettyimages-598049266

Our hospitals being destroyed?

Our babies dying before seeing the world?

Why oh why?

If Syria, Palestine, Burma

Iraq,  Afghanistan, Libya

Somalia, Nigeria, Yemen

Does not move you

Or tug at your heart

If you think the damage and deaths

Are nothing but Collateral damage

You need a HUMANITY CHECK!

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No one deserves death,  rape, destruction, pain or suffering. To the person out there saying the civilians deserve to die for the “better good and for the long-term future”,

Who will be left in the “FUTURE” if all civilians are dying now.

What country will be left to rule?

What people to become citizens.

Kindly, GET A HUMANITY CHECK!

 

 

 

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An Appeal to Your Hearts.

1.3 Million people suffering

1.3 million lives at stake

Bodies dropping by the hour

Listen carefully,

This is an appeal to your heart.

“She walks kilometres

Hours pass her by

Searching for life

Water for her family

He walks on and on

Only to find mud

Muddy dirty H2O

Water for his family

Thirsty and tired

They move forward

Contaminated waters all around

Water for their families

Passing by carcasses,

Wealth they had once possessed.

Dry withered plants,

Food they thought they had.

Listen carefully,

Close your ears

And open your heart

This is an appeal to your heart
Together

Me and you

Can make a difference

Clean water for them all.

This is an appeal to your hearts.

 

Listen carefully,

This is an appeal to your heart.

Images all from Google showcasing the drought and famine present in Kenya currently.

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